Escapades
by ClariceTook
Summary: Merry and Pip are stirring up trouble! Flying apples, tons of ale and rampaging sheep! oh the horror! Will Hobbiton survive?! please r/r!
1. Default Chapter

ESCAPADES  
  
I'll tell you all this right now: this was my very first Lord of the Rings fan-fiction so please take it easy on me! I had no clue what I was doing, although I did think it was awful cute.  
  
**** It was a bright, sunny day in the Shire. Birds were chirping and bugs were bussing about. The trees were swaying gracefully in the slight breeze that there was. And perched in one of these trees was young Peregrin Took. Beside him sat his friend Merry. They were poised and ready for anything that might come their way. After a short while, a hobbit of gentle visage came around the bend. Pippin, as the Took was called, gave his companion a swat and pointed to the hobbit. Merry nodded.  
  
"The ever-so-watchful predator waits silently for its unsuspecting prey," he muttered in a suspenseful voice. The hobbit drew closer.  
  
"He is tense and poised for his assault," he continued.  
  
The hobbit reached the point right below the branch. "And he springs!" the young hobbit shouted and flung himself off the branch, spreadeagle.  
  
The older hobbit never saw him coming and crumpled to the ground after the youngster had landed on him. Pippin rolled off and looked thoroughly pleased with himself.  
  
The other, however was not amused. "Fool of a Took!" he spat. Pippin ignored the comment and jerked his head up. The other hobbit turned just in time to hear: "And his accomplice follows!" and another body fell on top of him. After Merry had, too, rolled off, the two friends stood, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"We would like to inform you, sir," Pippin began. "That you have just had the misfortune of being killed and by now eaten by a viscous predator."  
  
"You know, " said Merry, pointing his finger at the old hobbit who was now glaring with malice at the two pranksters. "You should be more careful!"  
  
The elder shot firey darts with his eyes. "You two are a menace! You don't belong in the Shire!" And with that he stomped down the road.  
  
"Did you hear that, Pip?" Merry exclaimed. "That old kook there said that we are menaces! Now, what do you say to that accusation?"  
  
"That he is dead wrong! We are not menaces! We're much worse! We're menaces to menaces!" Pippin said, with a somewhat confused expression. All of a sudden, he straightened up. "Someone else is coming!" he said excitedly.  
  
Merry giggled with delight and he and Pippin scrambled up their tree once more. They sat silently. It was a cart coming. Yes, they could hear the hoofbeats and squeak of the wheels.  
  
Around the bend came the cart. All of a sudden, right under the branch, the cart stopped. The driver got down from his place and stood right under them.  
  
The two hobbits got gleeful expressions and looked at eachother with excitement. They looked back down, but the figure had disappeared. They Straightened up a little and looked around the tree for any sign of who it had been.  
  
"Boo!" came a voice from behind them. They screeched and sprung from the tree. They landed in the cart and were just about to take off, when they heard the sound of laughter. They paused and saw a grey figure walk towards them. He had a long beard and a tall, pointy hat. In one hand, he held a staff.  
  
"Gandalf!" they cried with sheer delight at the wizard's appearance.  
  
"You scared us!" Pippin exclaimed. "We thought we were to be swallowed up by an orc!" "Well now!" Gandalf said with surprise. "I wouldn't go calling a wizard an orc! I mean, I've had my bad days, but an orc! Come now!" he laughed again.  
  
This time, Pippin and Merry joined in. "What are you doing here this time, Gandalf?" Merry wondered with anticipation.  
  
"That is for me to know, and you not to, young Meriadoc." Gandalf took the reins that Merry had been clutching and shooed him over so that the wizard could resume his position as driver.  
  
With a sap of the reins from Gandalf, the horse began to plod once more down the road. Pippin and Merry could not hold still, they found themselves in the back of the cart, rummaging through a package. In it, they found, were fireworks.  
  
They looked over at Gandalf, who did not seem to notice that they had even moved. They glanced at eachother. Each silently daring the other to light one of Gandalf's fireworks. They found a starter and clicked a spark out of it. The firework caught the spark, and the seconds quickly diminished before it would set off. The two looked at eachother, not knowing what to do next. "Uh-oh" they said in unison.  
  
Kablooey! The rocket exploded. Pippin and Merry were shot through the sides of the cart. Gandalf was flung forward and on to the ground. The horse bolted and took off down the road. The rocket spiraled up into the sky, where it finally exploded in a spectacle of colors. Commotion could already be heard down in Hobbiton.  
  
****  
  
A swarm of hobbits (young and old) came over the hill to find a horse standing a little-ways off with an overturned cart behind it. A grey figure was lying in a heap a couple yards away and two smaller figures were starting to stir from unconsciousness. The two stood up and approached the large group. They were black with soot and their hair was sticking out in all possible directions.  
  
A stout hobbit with a red face and beady eyes stepped out of the group. "What happened here?" he demanded.  
  
Pippin and Merry bowed their heads, not in submission, but in order to hide the smiles that were playing on their lips. They knew what was coming! And they were prepared to have fun and enjoy it to the fullest.  
  
The red-faced hobbit glared at them. "A Took and a Brandybuck!" he growled. "Meriadoc! Peregrin!" he walked stiffly over to them. "You two promised that you wouldn't scare other hobbits any longer!"  
  
Pippin couldn't help but smile, "We promised that we wouldn't jump out of bushes at other hobbits! Not that we wouldn't jump out of trees!"  
  
This only angered the stout hobbit further. "Y-y-you t-t-two..." he stuttered, pointing his finger at the two jokesters.  
  
He was interrupted by Gandalf approaching, holding a hand to his head and the other hand out to calm the angry Hobbiton mayor. "Now, now!" he soothed. "I'm sure that young Meriadoc and Peregrin will never do this again! Will you boys?" he asked, turning to them with a grim expression on his face. Clearly, he wasn't very happy with them either.  
  
Nonetheless, they bit back laughs and shook their heads emphatically.  
  
"No sir!" Pippin piped. Gandalf eyed them curiously, but seemed satisfied with their response. "Now, I'm also sure that they won't mind scrubbing the Green Dragon from top to bottom!" he turned to them again with the same grim expression.  
  
Again, they wagged their heads with emphasis. They knew it! Part of the fun of goofing off was the punishment that they always received! The Green Dragon always kept its stores of ale well-hidden. Except from them. Between scrubbing, rinsing, and washing, they would sneak many swallows of the tasty ale.  
  
"Well now, that's settled," Gandalf said with finality. He walked over to the horse and upturned the cart then without another word, started down the hill, leading the horse and cart, humming as he went. Merry and Pippin watched him go and then waited until the swarm had dissipated. The last one to leave was the red-faced, beady-eyed mayor, who left only after giving them one final disgusting look.  
  
After he had finally left, Merry and Pippin let all the repressed laughter flow out. Tears fromed in their eyes and they were rolling around on the ground. After a couple of minutes, they stood up, wiping their eyes and headed down to the Green Dragon for their "punishment".  
  
**** 


	2. Part 2 flying apples! Could Merry and Pi...

ESCAPADES  
  
****  
  
The next day found Pippin dozing in the giant tree. His back was propped up against the tree's trunk and his arms were crossed across his chest. One leg was tucked close to him, while the other dangled lazily off the branch. He awakened at the sound of someone approaching the bend, whistling.  
  
Pippin sat up straight and quickly plucked an acorn off of an overhanging branch and pitched it across the road.  
  
Merry had been perched on his haunches, looking off into nowhere, and digging his hand into a bag of apples that was placed between his feet. His hand found one and he pulled it out. He took a big bite and munched it with pure contentment. All of a sudden, an acorn hit him square on the forehead. This scared him and he almost fell out of the tree, dropping the apple.  
  
He glared across the road at Pippin, who was motioning wildly towards the bend. Merry strained his ears and could make out the approaching whistler. He nodded at his friend and reached into the bag for another apple.  
  
Pippin reached into a bag of apples that he had beside him and pulled on out. He then positioned himself so that from the road, he would be virtually invisible, yet he would still be able to see the road. He quickly tied a rope around his waist and silently hoped that Merry was ready.  
  
A young, short, stout hobbit carrying an armload of vegetables came around the bend, whistling a happy tune.  
  
Pippin took careful aim and expertly shot the apple so that it landed behind the stout hobbit with a soft thud.  
  
The other hobbit whirled around in surprise. Just as he did this, Merry threw his apple so it landed behind the hobbit again. The other hobbit spun around. Merry and Pippin continued this a couple more times, terrifying the young hobbit more and more each time. He never got a decent chance to run, for another apple would fall.  
  
When the hobbit below was at the peak of utter paranoia and fear, Pippin grabbed the rope that was around his waist and jumped from the branch. He swooped above the hobbit's head, yelling in a shrill voice. Merry had done the same thing and the two passed each other right above the head of the hobbit who had dropped to the ground and was shivering in fear, his hands covering his head.  
  
Merry landed on Pippin's branch and Pippin, in turn, landed on Merry's branch.  
  
The young hobbit finally worked up enough courage to lift his head and peek around. This only signaled Merry and Pippin to take another swoop. They did. This time, however, when they reached right above the cowering hobbit, they dumped their bags of apples on top of him.  
  
They ended up on their original branches and untied the ropes. They climbed down and peeked around from around the tree.  
  
The other hobbit was now standing up, on wobbily legs. He was looking around in panic, and warily bent down to pick up the vegetables that he had dropped. After he had gathered them all, he looked around once more, then as fast as he could, ran down the road and out of sight.  
  
Merry and Pippin poked their heads out and met in the center of the road. Pippin whacked Merry with the back of his hand.  
  
Merry jumped. "What?" he excliamed.  
  
"I saw you!" Pippin accused, pointing a finger at his companion. "You were eating our amo!"  
  
A look of pure and utter innocence came over Merry's face and Pippin had to laugh.  
  
All of a sudden, a voice rang out. "It was you two!"  
  
Pippin was so startled, he leaped into Merry's arms. Merry caught him and fell backwards. On the ground, they pushed themselves onto their elbows and shaded their eyes so that they could see who was standing above them.  
  
"It was you two!" the voice repeated. Pippin and Merry jumped up, to come face-to-face with Samwise Gamgee.  
  
"Sam!" Pippin exclaimed. "How nice to see you! Now, what did we do?"  
  
"Oh, you know right well what you've done!" Sam responded.  
  
Pippin and Merry turned to look at eachother and shrugged. They then turned to Sam and shrugged again.  
  
"We have no idea what you're talking about!" Merry said with all seriousness.  
  
Pippin stifled a laugh. "Yeah, we don't know what you mean!"  
  
Sam glared at them. "You have no right to frighten people like that!"  
  
"We told you!" Merry insisted. "We don't know what you're talking about!"  
  
Sam threw up his hands in frustration. "I can't believe you two! I'm telling the Mayor! You both will be scrubbing the Green Dragon for days!" And with that, he stomped off.  
  
Pippin and Merry looked at each other and laughed heartily.  
  
**** 


	3. part 3 Rampaging SHEEP! oh my! look out ...

ESCAPADES  
  
**** Merry and Pippin were descending from the spot where they had just finished up their prank on young Samwise. Pippin had his hands jammed into his pockets and he was walking with a swinging gait. Merry had one hand in his pocket and the other held an apple, which he had salvaged from the bunch that they had dumped. He was munching contently and walking with the same gait as his friend. They were stopped suddenly by the hobbit mayor approaching, with Sam at his heels.  
  
Merry stopped in mid-munch, causing a wad of chewed apple to stuff itself into one of his cheeks. "Uh-oh," he mumbled.  
  
Pippin sighed. "Well, here we go, on the count of three!"  
  
"Meriadoc! Peregrin!" the mayor roared.  
  
"Three!" Pippin squealed and he and Merry bolted off, leaving a startled Sam and a still-angry hobbit mayor.  
  
They were running as fast as they could down the road, glancing over their shoulders to make sure that they weren't being followed. They were. Sam was running after them, slowly gaining.  
  
"Merry!" Pippin shouted. "We have a situation!"  
  
Merry looked over his shoulder and gave a moan of dismay. "Okay, so we need a plan!" he said panic.  
  
"Okay! I realize that!" Pippin shouted back. He racked his brain.  
  
"I got Merry!" he shouted. "Follow me!"  
  
Pippin bolted to the right and headed towards the sheep pen. "Sheep!" Merry exclaimed. "What are we going to do with sheep, Pippin? Ride them?"  
  
Pippin took a leap and landed on one of the sheep. "Yeah! Basically!"  
  
Merry gave a huff and jumped onto another sheep.  
  
The sheep took off, terrified. Only too late did Merry and Pippin realize that sheep, not to mention scared sheep, were not the easiest creatures to control. The sheep took off and were running full out. All Merry and Pippin could do was hang on for dear life.  
  
The sheep turned and started running through yards. Pippin's sheep ran under a clothes line, causing a sheet to completely cover Pippin. After running through that yard, the sheep decided to run through the market- place.  
  
Through the market place came a speeding sheep, with a figure with a streaming sheet on it, bouncing on its back. Hobbits were screaming and running for protection from whatever madman was riding a viscious sheep through a peaceful marketplace.  
  
Suddenly, another madman, with mud splattered all over him and rididng an equally muddy sheep, came speeding down the other way.  
  
Both sheep were knocking over vegetable and fruit stands and making a huge mess of the Hobbiton market place. After a short while, Merry's sheep tripped and sent Merry tumbling over its head. Pippin's sheep swerved to avoid falling over Merry's fallen sheep, and sent the white sheet that was Pippin flying off, landing right next to Merry.  
  
Merry looked at Pippin and snatched the white sheet off of his friend's head. Pippin shook his head and looked at Merry, who was wiping mud from his eyes.  
  
"Yeah! Let's ride sheep!" Merry mimicked Pippin's suggestion and swatted him with the back of his hand. "You are so unbelievable!"  
  
"Hey!" Pippin exclaimed, hitting Merry back. "You didn't have to listen to me!"  
  
Merry shoved Pippin over. "You made me!" he accused. Pippin shoved him back. "I did not!" he responded.  
  
"What happened here!" a voice rang out.  
  
Pippin and Merry froze. The sighed and looked up at the mayor who was standing above them.  
  
"You two are in so much trouble!" he shouted.  
  
Merry and Pippin lowered their heads, not feeling too great about themselves. They didn't especially want to destroy the whole market-place. They were in for it and they knew it.  
  
****  
  
That night, Merry and Pippin found themselves in a sort of council. The Hobbiton mayor was sitting in a chair in front of them. They were on their knees, sitting back on their feet. The two almost couldn't believe how many hobbits had shown up. There were dozens and dozens upon dozens of the wooly-footed creatures cramped into the barn. None of them looked like they were pro-Merry and Pippin, instead, they all had glaring and grim expressions. The mayor rose and held up his hands, signaling for quiet. The crowd hushed the clamor and turned their eyes towards the mayor.  
  
"Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took!" he began. "You have both been accused of disturbing the peace on many occasions. These occasions include the following: stealing vegetables from nearby neighbors, disrupting the peace by terrorizing hobbits on a count of four separate instances not including today or yesterday, destroying tables in the Green Dragon, purloining ale, and last in my memory, but probably the strongest, kidnapping young Frodo Baggins and dumping him in a near-by hidden stream where he remained for three days before he was recovered. Though, this is the first incident in which we have decided to make a move to put a stop to these schemes!"  
  
This brought shouts of "ho", "he", and "yeah" from the audience. "What do you have to say for yourselves?" the mayor asked sternly.  
  
Pippin and Merry tried to shrink as small as they felt at the moment. They had never been in any real trouble and were trying to figure out how to deal with it.  
  
"Well, sir," Pippin said weakly. "The stealing of the vegetables is cause to mid-day hunger that needs to be satisfied."  
  
"The tables in the Green Dragon were all accidents," Merry continued.  
  
"And terrorizing is such a strong word for the other four separate occasions," Pippin pointed out. "We were just having a bit of fun. And Mr. Boffin had no serious and irreparable damage."  
  
The mayor folded his arms and glared. "And what of young Frodo?" Pippin and Merry cast glances at eachother.  
  
"Prank?" Merry shrugged.  
  
"Yeah, and you all have to admit that it was awfully scientific of how blue he turned. It was a turning point in science," Pippin offered. "Besides, Frodo was never in any real danger. We looked after him. He was fed and watered. And he did forgive us!"  
  
The mayor sighed. "Is there anything else you would like to say?"  
  
Merry looked over at Pippin, who nodded in agreement at Merry's silent inquiry. Merry turned to look at the mayor. "Well sir, " he began in a respectful voice. "We would feel very much better if you would allow us to make it up to you by offering to scrub out the Green Dragon every night!"  
  
Pippin nodded for emphasis. "Please!" he begged. "Let us show you how truly sorry we are!"  
  
The mayor eyed them suspiciously, then relented. "Fine! You will both clean and scrub the Green Dragon everynight for three weeks! I think that that will be a sufficient enough punishment!"  
  
More cheers from the crowd.  
  
"You are both dismissed now," the mayor said with a wave of his hand. Then he adressed the crowd, "You are all dismissed as well!"  
  
The crowd dispersed and Merry and Pippin stood up so that they could leave and were approached by another young hobbit.  
  
"You two are so lucky!" he laughed. "I cannot believe that the mayor actually allowed you both to scrub the Green Dragon! I mean, he hasn't figured out that you sneak the ale from there too?"  
  
"Ssshhh!" Pippin waved his hands wildly. "Don't let him hear you!"  
  
"All I'm saying is that that was quite a show that you two put on back there!" the new young hobbit said, shoving his hands in his pockets.  
  
"Thank you Frodo!" Merry said. "See! We have talents! May be not quite the same talents that you and old Bilbo have, but we have talents nonetheless!"  
  
"Yeah," Frodo said solemnly. "I mean, it was just so touching," he said in a choked voice, pretending to wipe away a tear from his eye. "I especially liked that part about how blue I turned being a scientific turning point. Wow, did I ever resemble a blueberry. I still feel bad about you two getting in trouble over it. Ah well, instead of all three of us claiming discovery like we planned, I guess it'll all just go to you two."  
  
Pippin and Merry laughed, and Frodo joined in. Frodo clapped Merry on the back. "Well, if you must toil and drink through the night, I might as well help you drink!" He and his friends walked down to the inn.  
  
**** 


End file.
